Bullies have a new playground

CINCINNATI -  The words ‘bulimic’ and ‘obsession’ can hit hard when they are directed at you, but when they are about you and are sent out to thousands of other teenagers like yourself that can be devastating.

It doesn’t seem like that long ago that a teenage girl’s biggest fear was the rumor mill in her own school. But now, it’s the new age of gossip, the digital age. And it doesn’t just creep down the hallways of your local high school but through cyberspace and to hundreds of thousands. While many rumors dissipate after a few days, or weeks, this type of gossip is permanent.

Three weeks ago, one 17-year-old Tri-State student, who asked that her name not be used, was sitting in her room like most nights, surfing the Internet, she said, when she received a phone call from a friend. Her friend read her a text message that left her shocked.

Her panicked friend, who was signed up to receive text messages from someone dubbed ‘Cincy Gossip Girl’, said not only was the 17-year-old mentioned but the text also included a photo of her and her ex-boyfriend.

“My heart dropped when I heard all the accusations made about me. My first reaction? My life is over.”

The teen TV drama “Gossip Girl” seemed to have inspired a local anonymous blogger to take on the same role locally about area teenage students, about dates they have, “hook-ups” and more. The TV show is based on gossip and rumors. Cincy Gossip Girl (CGG) took “her” queue to do the same.

Below is an excerpt from the text message blast that CGG reportedly sent out to her friend. This is what the teenager heard her friend read to her over the phone.
(Names were taken out of the excerpt to keep victims’ anonymity.)

This blast revolves around another student. According to a concerned source, her obsession with ex boyfriend has unhinged all of her relations. She has been known to stalk him. Electronically... and physically. She would show up at his house randomly, and force herself on to him. It seems her obsession for her ex drove all of her friends away. After he broke her heart, she found herself struggling to move on. She developed dangerous eating, and unfortunately digestion habits. She felt as if bulimia was the only viable option. The break up took place in the summer, but unfortunately, eight months later, she remains hopelessly devoted to him. Well aware of her isolation, has been known to cling to any source of kindness. She is looking for a best friend, but beware to those who fall victim to her search. Sources say that another school’s girl is her next obsession. Beware, she is clingy and relentless. Just ask any of her former pals. xoxo Gossip Girl.

After the teen got a grip on herself, she said, she did a reality check and told herself, “It's a stupid girl attempting to imitate the real ‘Gossip Girl’ series... nobody could be taking her that seriously.”

Once she started to receive texts from her peers letting her know that they supported her, her concerns lessened she said.

“Nobody would see me any differently after a meaningless text message.”

And that attitude continued the following Monday at school, where she continued to gain support from her classmates.

“If anything, the whole incident has taught me to not care what people think; my true friends will be there when the dust settles.”

While she said she was not personally hurt by the message sent out in cyberspace, it's made her realize how destructive gossip can be.

“A simple text can destroy a reputation and hurt someone beyond the gossip’s understanding.

My sensitivity towards cyberbullying has grown and has inspired me to take a stand against it so that others will not have to go through what I did.”

CGG has been inactive for a few weeks, however, cyberbullying has not ceased, but rather spread.

Gossiping and rumors are a part of high school, said Turpin High School senior Marisa Giglio, however, cyberbullying goes too far.

Giglio, 17, wrote an article for her school’s newspaper “Cincy Gossip Girl: Harmless Fun or Defamation?” in The Lancer, Nov. 19 2010 issue.

She said, that while she did not receive the text updates nor does she follow the Facebook page or blog page, plenty of her classmates did. Everyone heard about it, “it blew up.”

“I was surprised that someone could put that up” since, she said, no one gave that person permission to post about them. “[It] has potential to hurt people, surprised that someone would do that.”

She said that she thinks it’s wrong to gossip about each other.

“It creates unnecessary drama.”

With computers and phones, there is a “greater capacity to spread with technology, especially with other high schools.”

But it’s not the technological source of those rumors that's the problem, she said, but rather the person who is spreading the rumors.

“The source isn’t evil (phones, computers), it’s how you choose to use it. Easier to do on Internet—that’s the whole point of cyberbullying, I think.”

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What

is cyberbullying?

The Cyberbullying Research Center defines cyberbullying as:
“When someone repeatedly harasses, mistreats, or makes fun of another person online or while using cell phones or other electronic devices."

Approximately 20 percent of the students in the Research Center’s sample report have experienced cyberbullying. More specifically, in the last 30 days, 14 percent have experienced mean or hurtful comments.

Cell phones are the most popular technology used by teens, however, the Research Center found that a greater proportion of teens are now using Facebook compared to MySpace, while Twitter remains unpopular among most youth.

McNicholas High School’s school psychologist Matt Musselman defines cyberbullying as:
“The use of an electronic device to inflict personal/emotional stress or pain to an individual person by creating or passing along hurtful and/or hateful messages either by word, photo, video or all” of the above. And he said, it’s a problem.

“Cyberbullying can have varied levels of adverse effect on individual teens," he said.

"The teenage years are filled with periods of extreme confidence and extreme insecurity.”

Teens are often vulnerable to psychological harm based upon how they are perceived through social media, he said.

“Anxiety, depression, etc. can be promoted through poor use of electronic media. Fear, frustration, anger, sadness and many other emotions become engaged in the mind of a teen as they are impulsively bombarded with ‘personal’ information about themselves or others.”

While personal behaviors are the cause of cyberbullying, he said, technology has sped up and broadened the scope of bullying.

Stopping cyberbullying is not only about the teens themselves, but also the schools and parents, he said.

Education and having conversations with teens about cyberbullying and mature, responsible use of social media is one step that parents can take.

They can “discuss scenarios and healthy responses so they can do some self-
reflection or help others.”

In fact, he said, some parents might need to impose consistent restrictions on use of computers and cell phones, like no computer or phone after 10 p.m., to help break unhealthy habits.

Schools can also do their part. They can and should help teens develop self-worth and promote positive decision making tools, he said.

“Schools are accountable for delivering academic subject matter and
engaging students in related discussions and resources.”

Schools like McNicholas provide experts to speak in order to aid parents, staff and students. Programs like those have impacted its students.

The psychologist said that teenagers should stop engaging cyberbullies and stop relying on computers and phones as their only means of communication.

“Make a friend, be a friend, in the real world, not the cyberworld. Value the
quality of your real relationships rather than the quantity of “cyberfriends”.

At some point teens need to answer the question “who is left accountable for anonymous words?” Musselman said.

“How much validity or value does an anonymous resource present? Stopping the drama and disconnecting might be difficult, but it has much more upside.”

One McNicholas student has started to do just that, stop the drama.

Jen Foltz has taken a stand against cyberbullying.

Foltz, 16, saw the blog CGG, before it was removed, and had friends that were affected by it negatively. She said there are people against it, standing up against it.

Her school newspaper article, “Cincy Gossip Girl: The definition of cyber bullying” brought it to other students’ attention. In fact, her article received 1,500 hits, the largest number to any story in their school’s newspaper “The McNicholas Milestone” to date.

“[It] hurt their feelings. They felt personally attacked and bad about themselves.”

Teens can stand up, said the McNicholas junior, and not be a part of it.

“The more people, the more pressure there is to be involved.”

Cincy Gossip Girl and blogs that talk about people are “posted online for everyone to see not just a few people” like hallway gossip, she said.

Foltz chooses to lead by example. Treating others with respect and treating those different from herself are two ways that she does that every day.

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New playground, same bullies—

Is cyberspace the new playground where bullies are hidden around each corner, behind the slide and next to the swing set? Some experts said “yes.”

Ross Ellis, founder of STOMP Out Bullying, a signature program of Love Our Children USA™, said that not only is cyberbullying a problem, but that the youngest cyberbullies reported were 7 and 8 years old.

Cincy Gossip Girl is the definition of cyberbullying, she said.

“This is total cyberbullying… it’s just wrong.”

She said that anyone that is on the receiving end of cyberbullying should:

• Save all of the messages.
• Block that person’s e-mail and phone number.
• Print the messages.
• Talk to their parents.

• Find out who provider is of phone and report them.
• Go to police.
• Go to school, teacher, principal.

While she thinks that every state should have a law against cyberbullying, just having a law on the books isn't enough.

“Legislation means nothing if the schools don’t enforce it.”

Just because it’s not happening on school grounds, it’s still their problem, she said. If they teach computers, then they have to teach online moral and ethics.

“It really does take a village. Schools have to stop sweeping it under the rug.”

Ellis said parents point toward the schools, schools point at the parents, meanwhile the teenagers are typing and texting faster than adults can imagine.

Since teenagers need a cell phone for emergencies and computers are great learning tools for growing minds, she said, the solution isn't banning technology but rather empowering the students and parents with the knowledge knowing the difference between good usage and bad. And parents must know more than the kids about computers and social networking, she said.

“This country needs to wake up fast. Every child deserves to be saved no matter where they are, home, playground, wherever.”

Ellis said that the anonymity makes it that much harder, and in some cases, more painful.

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Anonymity is a transparent cloak for bullies—

With the digital age in full force, most teenagers arm themselves with a cell phone and a laptop. With those two pieces of equipment in-hand they head to MySpace, Facebook, blogs and Twitter, and proceed to tell the world how they are feeling.

They can shoot hundreds of text messages with a push of a button on their phones, telling their BFF who their latest crush is. But cyberbullies are taking that communication to a different level, possibly a criminal level. And they cannot hide behind laptop screen or their blocked numbers or names.

Anonymity can be a misconception of young people said a Tri-State police officer.

Police Officer Tom Wagner, who handles crime prevention for the City of Montgomery, said that the misconception is that things are anonymous when posted online but the truth is, no one is anonymous.

“Almost every post made can be tracked back to a specific computer.”

Facebook and other social networking sites have demonstrated a willingness to cooperate with law enforcement when investigating criminal complaints, said the officer, who is certified as a Crime Prevention Specialist by the Ohio Crime Prevention Association (OCPA).

“In terms of who is accountable, it depends on any one of a hundred variables including, what was in the post, were any state or federal laws violated, and was someone victimized by the post.”

The 21-year veteran to the police force, said that he responds to complaints of cyberharassment, even more so in the last two years than previously.

There are several definitions for cyberbullying, he said, but one that he uses is, “being cruel to others by sending or posting harmful material using the Internet or a cell phone.”

Cyberbullying goes hand in hand with cyberstalking he said.

That is defined as: “The use of the Internet or other electronic means to stalk someone - used interchangeably with online harassment and abuse.”

“The latter is most common in cases of a romantic relationship or friendship that has ended and one party or the other is attempting to keep it alive in unhealthy ways or seek some form of ‘revenge’ for ending the relationship,” said Wagner.

Cyber-related crimes, particularly non-financial crimes, are fairly new in terms of specialized police response, he said.

“Legislators, courts and municipalities are dealing with criminal activities that essentially did not exist five years ago.”

On a national level, the President and First Lady met with students, parents and teachers at the White House for a conference on bullying prevention recently.

In 2009, Ohio Sen. Teresa Fedor, D-Toledo, introduced SB 126 to address cyberbullying among children. The bill would require schools to report harassment to the police.

According to the National Association of School Psychologists, children who suffer from cyberbullying have poor academic achievement, increased rates of depression and are eight times more likely to bring weapons to school.

“Schools need to be proactive in educating students and parents about responsible use of technology at school,” said Fedor in a 2009 press release.

One school has taken a proactive approach to cyberbullies introducing their students, parents, faculty and staff to the dos and don’ts of technology.

McNicholas High School has had three programs in the last year to spread the word that cyberbullying is not OK in their school or anywhere.

The school is proactive to cyberbullying. In fact, the guidance office brought in the school’s first speaker at the beginning of last year’s school term for parents about texting and all things cyber-related. After that program, the school said that parents

suggested the police officer who spoke to them, speak again, but to the students. The school agreed.

McNicholas' programs offered information about the legal ramifications of cyberbullying, “sexing”, and all e-media dos and don’ts.

“People think that bullying is just something that happens” like when we were in school, but it’s more serious, said McNicholas Principal Greg Saelens.

“Bullying in school is different, you know who is doing it. When you get to cyberbullying it’s anonymous and permanent.”

It’s out there for everyone to see, he said.

“[They] are bullied around the clock,” said Anne Jones, webmaster, librarian and school’s journalism teacher.

“More people have the guts to do it online than in someone’s face,” said 16-year-old Foltz. “More people are willing to bully if it’s anonymous—easier to do.”

“[Because, you’re not looking them in the eye when you’re saying it,” agreed Saelens.

“Electronic bullying is hit-and-run,” said Liz Ingram, McNicholas’s academic advisor, who was instrumental in bringing speakers for the students, parents and faculty/staff.

Sometimes teens and parents leap into technology not knowing the ramifications, she said. That is why the school brought in the first speaker.

Cyber-anything is a “powerful tool” she said. “If you’re not using these powers for good, it’s a bad thing.”

“If you don’t know the gun is loaded, it’s a dangerous thing. It’s even more dangerous when you know the gun is loaded,” she said about the effects of the web as a whole.

That is the exact reason that Hamilton County Prosecutor’s Office has teamed up with a local company in an effort to take the necessary steps to ensure that all teenagers, parents and educators know how to use e-media as tools and not weapons.

Dorothy Smith, assistant chief of the Juvenile Division at the Hamilton County Prosecutor’s Office, said that 2 ½ years ago, Steven Smith, director from CBTS (a division of Cincinnati Bell) contacted her office about “sexting” legal scenarios that show examples of what types of behavior can be prosecuted under the child pornography statutes.

She said that Smith explained that he had been authorized to develop an educational program through Cincinnati Bell to help educate parents, students and teachers about technology, surrounding sexting, cell phones, Internet, etc.

Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters authorized Smith and Julie Wilson, spokeswoman for the prosecutor’s office, to assist with presentations for area schools.

“The requests for the programs exploded,” she said.

Sexting was the first topic discussed, then they expanded to cyberbulling, then social networking. The program is now presented to both parents as well as 5th- through 12th-graders throughout Hamilton County. However, she said, other jurisdictions accompany CBTS to about seven other counties throughout the Tri-State area, she said, presenting to more than 20,000 kids.

The theme throughout the presentation is “Take 5” before you hit send.

“I explain that taking just five minutes, five breaths, five heartbeats before you hit send will allow them to maintain some control over their own future.”

She explains to the students that when they hit the send button and transfer information that could be potentially criminal, they are giving over control of their future to the person who receives that information. She then tells them the consequences of their actions could lead them to her department: Juvenile Division at the Hamilton County Prosecutor’s Office.

“I talk to them about the types of crimes that we prosecute for information sent via cells, e-mail, instant messaging, Facebook, etc.” She also tells them what it’s like when they are arrested.

After painting, what she said, is a very bleak picture for them, she tells them to “think: is sending this message really worth my future? Is saying ‘so and so is a so and so’ really worth being charged with a crime?”

“I hope that the presentations help… even if we cause just one kid to stop and think before they hit the send button, it is worth it.”

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Unplugging cyberbullies: Stopping it before it’s typed—

So how can stop cyberbullies be stopped?

Officer Wagner said there is no easy answer to that question. However, it begins with a partnership between educators, police and the kids themselves, but also involving parents.

Bullying, he said, isn’t a new phenomenon. In one form or another, it has made its way into schoolyards across America.

“In the first 10 years of the 21st century, we watched as the bullying moved from face-to-face confrontations to cyberspace, where there is an illusion of invincibility and anonymity.”

Young people harass each other for different reasons he said. Some do it out of jealousy, rejected affection, or a desire to feel powerful in the eyes of peers, said Wagner.

Kids and teens invest a lot of time and energy into creating their online persona, he said. They keep photos, journals, express