The All-Stars wrapped up an interesting week on “Dancing with the Stars.” Double dances, lots of guilty pleasures, and no elimination.
They pretty much took that as a creative license to kill. And sometimes they missed the mark.
Each couple performed two dances this week. Four couples did individual dances Monday, while the other four did a group freestyle. On Tuesday, they did the reverse. (Although, it was not live - instead Tuesday’s episode was taped after Monday’s live show.)
It all kicked off with TV host Melissa Rycroft and Tony doing a tango to her guilty pleasure, “Toxic” by Britney Spears. In their pre-recorded package, Melissa worked up some tears (always good strategy for sympathy votes).
The routine starts off like a mad scientist skit and Melissa is Frankenstein. Some of the tango kicks look a little alien to her, but she keeps up with the moves and projects great attitude. Whereas most stars lose steam as their dances go on, she seems to get better. Judge Len Goodman says it was performed excellently. Judge Bruno Tonioli calls it intoxicating and says Melissa brought her character to life. They get 27 out of 30. Two night total: 56.5 out of 60.
Olympian Shawn Johnson and Derek tackle a rumba to Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On.” In the taped piece, Derek tells Shawn he wants emotion and she has to stretch for it. They channel Jack and Rose from “Titanic.” Their dance is a whole different game: instead of the whole dance floor, they have a small, raised circular stage to dance on. Their routine is grand and beautiful. Shawn moves likes an acrobatic angel. Her lines are great and she projects emotion wonderfully. It’s a moving little routine.
Bruno says he was with them for every moment of the dance. Judge Carrie Ann Inaba calls out a lift, but the other judges say it was a catch, and the crowd boos her. This causes host Tom Bergeron to say Carrie Ann will be playing the part of the iceberg tonight. Len then says it was not a rumba because it had no hip action. Score: 27, 56.5 overall.
Olympian Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina samba to “Give It To Me Baby.” He has great command, great energy and hip action. Their dance is playful and frisky – very active. Apolo looks at ease doing frenetic moves and Karina looks stunning. Carrie Ann compliments them, but says Apolo isn’t having his breakthrough yet. Len and Bruno both like it. Score: 27, 56.5 overall.
After all the heated dances and heated emotions over controversial scores, singer Sabrina Bryan and Louis provide us with an exhale moment.
They waltz to “So This is Love” from “Cinderella.” And their costumes are – contain surprise – Cinderella and the Prince. Anyway, this dance is royal. It’s refreshing to see a routine that’s simple, slow and beautiful. Sabrina really looks like she’s giving herself over to the emotion here. Len says, “Cinderella, you’re going to the ball.” Bruno calls it a magic ride into an enchanted kingdom. Carrie Ann says Sabrina was elegance personified. Score: 29, 58.5 overall. And well deserved.
Sabrina tweeted, “Thank you all so much!! I'm glad you guys enjoyed the Waltz as much as we did.”
Onto the freestyle fiasco. It’s team “Gangham Style” with actor Gilles Marini, actress Kirstie Alley, actress Kelly Monaco, NFL retiree Emmitt Smith, and their assorted partners.
I don’t know what glue they huffed before choreographing it, but there are no words to describe the group freestyle these people put on. It’s like David Lynch directed a Lady Gaga video. This routine is just as weird as the “Gangham Style” song itself.
First up, they have some peculiar multi-colored suits on, which they predictably rip off to reveal outfits that have no common theme with each other.
Kirstie and Maks have their solo, which looks like some sort of 1980s workout video gone wrong. She grabs onto his thighs and does some “cartwheels” before just phoning in some random and meaningless moves. It’s a… Kirtastrophe.
Kirstie tweeted, “We had sooo much fun in team dance Gangnam Style..a riot actually...;).”
Emmitt and Cheryl rip off their clothes to reveal a lifeguard (?) outfit and a slip, respectively. He does a pushup, she jumps on him, there’s some thrusting.
Kelly and Val tear off their clothes to reveal bedazzled hot pants and parachute pants. She slaps his rear, does the slips, and he spins her.
Then the big finish: Gilles and Peta tear off their clothes to reveal nothing but terrycloth hand towels. He literally is wearing nothing but a hand towel. Pretty much the same for Peta, but at least she can pull it off (literally, please?). She does a handstand, spreads her legs and Gilles stares into her crotch. It’s a Did I just see that? moment.